Alright, so I am about to get a little vulnerable here. Over the last few years, I have been single, meaning not in a relationship with anyone. Yes, I have been on dates, some lasting a little longer than others, but nothing substantial, and man has it been rough and PAINFUL! After this last spout of dating one particular person, I have come to realize that I fear relationships. I fear getting my heart broken into pieces again.
It is so interesting that I have come to this revelation. I have always loved being in a committed relationship. Opening myself up vulnerably to another person is something I am really good at. I did it with this last person, but then I realized that it was not being reciprocated so I pulled away. I built a small wall/box around my heart to keep it safe. I don't know if I meant too, but it was necessary because in the end I had to say no more, as he was not wanting or willing to open his heart to me due to his own fears.
Every time this type of thing happens to me, I question my worth. Am I not good enough? Will I ever be with "my person"? What could I have done differently? I automatically fall into the blame game of myself. This time I reminded myself there were two of us involved. I didn't do this dating dance alone. Then even deeper, realizing I wasn't in this dance alone was that the universe was actually protecting me. Rejection is protection.
If it wasn't for the universe shifting this person away from me, I would have continued this unhealthy dance. I would have settled. Settling in my life is not an option. I refuse to do something because it is comfortable or because it's what others are doing. I have faith the universe will continue to turn me in other directions until I land with the person I am supposed to do the dance with.
The pain of loss is really big for me when it comes to relationships, as this is the one thing in my life that I want the most; to build my own family. However I am learning to be patient and to use my time until that happens to help others. Use it to focus on my business in spreading love and kindness. To grow my workshops and camps for girls, teens and women.
Although the rejection hurts every time, I continue to trust that the universe has bigger and better things in store for me than what I have been shown so far in life. So I strive for greatness, kindness and LOVE over fear.
Comment below with any stories of inspiration, love, trust or how the universe was protecting you.